On a little slipnslide!

The good news is, I feel great. Everything seems to be going well with the baby, I have my 18 week dr's appt in two weeks and can schedule my 20 week sonogram by early next week. The bad news is, I seem to have fallen off the wagon. I am pretty sure I've gained about 3 lbs in the last two weeks and I have not been doing my walking or anything else. I'm also pretty sure cheese danish and cuban sandwiches are not very healthy for anyone, but that is what I ate yesterday. I'm trying to turn it around though! I brought apples and pb, a banana, and a kind bar to work for snacks though. I thought it was just a 4 hour shift, but it turned in to 6 when my boss was finally approved to give us more hours until we find a replacement for the full time girl who left. I am not knocking more work, it keeps me out of the house and mostly away from bad food, but it has been giving me more excuses not to exercise. 

I need to change up my routine and start walking at least after dinner when I'm home with the Cap, hoping he can start going with me now that his classes at work seem to be a little less daunting. I'm also going to try to go to the prenatal yoga class tomorrow at the army gym. I might actually try hitting up the gym a little more. It's a 20 minute drive to get there, but I think the elliptical might be just what I need at this point, and man the pool is gonna feel great (indoors) when this belly explodes. 

So you heard it here folks! I am gonna try to not gain any more weight before my appt in two weeks! I am not planning on losing anything, just keeping it in check. With the holidays coming up, there will be plenty of time for indulging and love through food. In fact, we just booked our hotel down by my family in Florida for the Thanksgiving and I cannot wait!

So here is the 15 week picture. No stripes! 

Week 14 update

Just wanted to show off my bump! Here is the week 14 picture! I must say, I love wearing stripes to work on Fridays!

I'm also in charge of the display this month at work, here is my "IT CAME FROM THE LIBRARY" zombie display! 

 Emily called me today to check up! She's recently gotten engaged and moved to be closer to her family so it was really great to check in with her! She was super proud of my work at staying fit this pregnancy! She's also going to try to start paleo and wanted some tips and websites so I sent her here to the blog.

Victory!

Well I had my 14 week OB appointment yesterday. Mainly this one and the next one are just check ups to see how I'm feeling and to let the doctor know if I have any concerns. I also got to hear the heartbeat, which was nice and strong in the 140s! Yay! At this point in the pregnancy its still hard to know you're pregnant every day, because I don't have a pronounced belly and I'm no longer feeling sick. Speaking of bumps, my uterus is apparently very low down and if you match that with my awesomely long (sarcasm) torso, I'm gonna carry real low and just look pudgy until maybe midway? Who knows!

I was very nervous to go to this appointment because I don't want to gain more weight than I should and I was afraid my scale at home would not match what was happening in the doctor's office. But I shouldn't be worried because most of the time I eat really well and I exercise as much as I can, its still always in the back of your mind. I love Miss Jessica Simpson but weight watchers is not going to give me a 3 million dollar deal anytime soon to lose my baby weight, so I just can't go overboard like she did. I am proud to say that victory was indeed mine and I only gained 2 lbs of the 20 my doctor thinks is healthy to gain. Not bad for getting through an entire trimester! If I can keep this up through the holidays and get through to the last one, I think I will be plenty healthy come baby time.

Also, today is my four year wedding anniversary! Cap and I do the traditional gifts to eachother every year and this year's is a doozy. Fruit and flowers? I guess the perfect gift would be an edible arrangement right? Fruit in the shape of flowers? But I always think those things are just walking talking colds on a stick. I haven't gotten him anything yet because I really wanted him to get a new wedding ring. Did I mention that he accidently sent it down the disposal without knowing and crushed it?? Yea I was wondering why those sounds were coming from our sink before we moved! I trust him completely, but what is hotter than a good looking military officer carrying an adorable baby while wearing no wedding band? Exactly! So I'm holding out. I do hope he thinks of me though.

We have a weekend of eating ahead of us. This morning went to Ihop with his class and their wives and this afternoon is a BBQ thrown by one of the couples. I broke down and made my favorite side dish every, corny cornbread casserole, which is pretty much cornbread with a stick of butter, sour cream, and cans of corn and creamed corn. Bake until succulent! Not very healthy but I since I won't be drinking, I figure there are extra calories for me to go around. We are also going to hit the farmer's market and maybe the Seafood festival uptown as well on Saturday.

Wishful thinking!

So now that I'm keeping up with this blog and becoming accountable again, I've managed to eat pretty sensibly and do my walking every day. The walking part is super easy to keep up with because the weather here has been pretty amazing the last few weeks. This weekend the high will be in the upper 70s so I definitely plan on getting Cap out there with me. We are going to try to hit up the farmer's market downtime tomorrow morning cause I'm really craving some kind of cobbler right now and they have THE best selection of fresh stuff. I also want to try to get out and meet new people. It's kind of lonely here due to the circumstances of this duty station, so I'm willing to try a bunch of new things to meet people.

This week has been pretty easy paleo wise for dinners. I've had to broaden my horizons with making crock pot meals or re heats because I now work a couple of nights for the new job. I tried my hand at a cube steak gravy concoction deal last night from pinterest that Cap put over instant mashed potatoes and I put over a mix of veggies which made a pretty tasty gravy but the meat was less than to be desired. I don't know how to marinate it before going in to the pot, because I always thought that that stuff was supposed to all happen in the pot. Oh well. I also made AMAZING stuffed tomatoes this week which I'll link to the recipe below. And tonight is Philly Cheesesteak over mixed greens.

My problem has not been dinner though, its during the day. I am going through the lumberjack/trucker appetite phase where I just cannot fill up. Or I'll fill up for about an hour and then get dizzy from low blood sugar and will have to eat again really soon after that, so the fruits and veggies go through me like water. It's hard to find the balance between cravings and what I should be eating as well. I just need to keep plugging away and finding what works for me.

http://www.paleoplan.com/2010/01-04/sausage-stuffed-tomatoes/
Super tasty and green with the large cut up peppers I used, and for some reason I couldn't find ground sausage this week, so I just baked then sauteed links all cut up. It was harder to stuff but still super delicious. I added a little parmesan to the mixture as well to bump up the flavor.

http://www.myrecipes.com/recipe/philly-cheese-steak-salad-10000001885356/

This one is what I'm using for the Philly cheese steak tonight, but instead of American cheese, I'm going to use some swiss cheese shredded and melted over the salad. I prefer the taste over processed American. I'll take pictures and put them up this weekend.

Also, I think I'm finally showing! It only took 13 weeks and 3 days! My belly button still hasn't popped out but this belly is on its way! I love leggings and sweater dresses!

Our new life in Georgia!

It's been three blessed months since I've updated on this blog! We are happy to announce that not only did we have a great vacation and move from Texas to Georgia with the military, but the third round of clomid worked! I am 13 weeks pregnant today!!! We told family and friends last week as were are now safely out of the danger zone and I cannot believe I'm a week away from my second trimester!

While I should have secretly been writing down my thoughts every day and then releasing them all at once, I've been completely overwhelmed with the new place and unpacking, traveling to see family, and my new job at the library! I'll try to remember some details as I go, but promise to keep everyone up to date on what is going on from now.

The biggest regret I've had since getting pregnant is the amount of weight I've put back on since getting pregnant. On the trip to the beach I went from about 179 lbs to 184, from eating anything I wanted and drinking a lot! I didn't know I had a week old clump of cells in there, but everyone has assured me it will be ok. I lost the 5 lbs before the acutal move date, but found out I was pregnant the day the guys came to put all our stuff on the truck. Our plan of getting to the new place in one day failed after that, as the exhaustion from the week of packing and organizing, as well as the happy news, took its toll on me! So with the move, being homeless in a hotel, visiting family and friends, lets just say my eating has been less than perfect. In the first month we were here I put the 5 lbs back on plus 5 and at my first appt I weighed in at 191 lbs. My doctor knows my history and of course took me off the metphormin during the pregnancy. I try to get in 30 minutes a day of walking, but it was nothing like Emily had me doing. There are supposed to prenatal classes for yoga on post but none have shown up on the September schedule, so here's hoping for October. I have my 14 week doctor's visit a week from tomorrow and hope I haven't added another 5 lbs, but with a family trip this weekend including cheesecake and cinnamon rolls, I highly doubt it will be a great showing. The doctor would like me to stay within a 20 lb gain range and I just need to get in better habits.

Weeks 6-8 of the pregnancy were the hardest because of morning sickness and I all could eat were ginger snaps and crackers. Now I have to break out of the carb overload cravings. We do a paleo meal for dinner every night, but during the day I eat a lot of whole week and fruit and cheese. Of course I get the extra 300 cals a day from feeding the little monster, but that adds up quickly. Now that I am writing all this down, I better stick to it a whole lot better!

I have a major case of pregnancy brain so I will leave it up to these pictures to paint the full story!

Here is the lovely chart for July! As you can see, I got the positive pretty stinking early!

The day of the big move, we had this awesome news! I actually dreamed that I saw the word PREGNANT in big letters and had found this digital test under my sink while packing. I dreamed it come true!

Here is the little monster at 10 weeks and 3 days! Dr says the baby has a lot of personality and is a thumb sucker all ready!

Our awesome announcement we made for our friends on facebook! We went to a home football game a few weeks before and took the picture there!

And here I am this weekend making a fool out of myself at the maternity store trying on a fake belly! I'm absolutely not showing yet, although I swear I feel the fullness and sometimes a kick when I lay very still! So excited!

Hiatus Over!

It has been a busy few weeks (months) for us here in the nest and it was really nice to not be thinking about any baby stuff. I have successfully gotten down to 179 lbs, with a bit of a stall in the last few weeks. That has been pretty much due to the amount of drinking and goodbyes we've been saying so they are happy pounds I'm holding on to. I have also ovulated each month since our last clomid treatment. I was up in the 11's for amount of progesterone each time which makes me so happy! Now we are in our final weeks in Texas and we are getting our home ready to be rented out before we head to Georgia.

We were actually supposed to be leaving this coming weekend but the army could not get a  moving truck for us for another two weeks, so instead of vacationing with family in Florida, we will just take the time off here and head to the beach before the insanity begins. In one week's time we have to clean and pack the house, get the cars loaded, head to the new post and find a house. Its nothing new for any military family, but this will be an insane time for us. So we got booked a little last minute trip at a beach for a week and it just so happens to fall over the best BD time for us. And because of that I am doing a half pill round of clomid this month. I started on my day 5 which was yesterday with a cut 50mg tab so I'm doing 25 mg a day. At my last OB appt, the doc and I talked about how well the weightloss was going and how I'd ovulated on my own but not had a pregnancy yet and she suggested doing the half tab again, but a whole one if we really wanted twins. That was a no! haha. 

So last night we went to a friends birthday party and drank way too much and that is what I think caused the two hot flashes I had in bed last night and this morning. I don't think I'd have had that kind of reaction had I not had anything to drink. I meet up with Emily today for a workout so I believe that will help me get back in action this week. My last day of work is Friday and they are doing a nice lunch for me and I'm sure I will get super emotional, so being on the clomid should just exaggerate that. Other than this last week, I don't think there will be much to set me off. I hope the half dose really makes a difference and I'm just glad we are here so that I get one more blood test done to see if the half dose makes much of a difference. Poor cap also has to turn in a sperm sample right before we leave as well (like the morning that we head out) so that will give us all the info we need to start working with a new doctor soon. 

I'm excited for changes and to see whats to come. I feel really good about the way I'm looking right now and the changes I've made in myself. I'm still sticking with the paleo diet. I cheat more than I should but its not necessarily with non paleo foods, its just with more gluten free foods that have other grains in them. I think I'll probably stay at this weight until we get settled in August because of all the traveling but I really don't mind. I know how to make it work now. I'll try to keep up with this while we are doing the cycle. I've also been measuring my BBT this month as well and will post those pictures each week as well. 

Here's an updated head shot photo I did with some friends for the new theaters I hope to work with. 

So busy

Well its been pretty crazy around here. Between traveling for work and traveling to rehearsal, I've put a lot of mileage on my car and on my mind. I've been sticking to eating paleo and exercising but I'm having a very off week. I've been trying to add in a few new foods that have recently been deemed paleo, but they don't seem to be working with me. According to paleolifestyle.com, green peas are ok, so I made a delicious chicken stew with them in it and ate for dinner the one day and then for lunch yesterday. I've put on a half pound each of those days and I don't know why, except for the peas? In that same article, it said that white potatoes in moderation are now ok, but I don't think that is going to work for me. 

I did have kind of a cheat day on Saturday night, our dinner plans fell through times two and then ended up at a third restaurant that was Cajun but everything was fried. I had done a two hour booty camp/zumba class that morning so I decided that I could eat what I wanted and drink what I wanted. I partook in the sugariest most mind numbing drink and fried shrimp and hush puppies and didn't gain weight then, so why did the peas do it to me? I don't know. I just have to keep plugging away. Maybe I should stop weighing in EVERY DAY! Of course, when I've stopped weighing in in the past, I've gained weight. Or maybe I need to stop obsessing! 

I also have a new plan for working out for the next three months. I'm concentrating on running more and getting my times better for the 5ks I have coming up. The first one is in less than three weeks and will be during the run of the musical so hopefully I won't be completely wiped out from the night before, and then the next one will be over 4th of July in the HEAT of Texas. Its looking pretty good to get down the last 20 lbs before we move. Of course I haven't really lost anything this month and so I'm a month behind. When I weighed in on Sunday with Emily, I was 190.6 but at home I was 187.5 and now I'm 188.5.  I just want to be 170 by August 1st, is that too much to ask? Probably. 

Anywho, here are some of the foods I've made over the last week. The stew from Monday night can be found here at http://paleodietlifestyle.com/quick-and-creamy-chicken-stew/ and here is my picture. It was so good, but I don't know about those peas man. 

I also made, fresh from my garden fried green tomatoes. I made up my own recipe and this is what I used. 

4 green garden tomatoes (2 were roma, 2 were beefy)

1/2 cup almond flour

1/4 cup parmesan cheese (optional)

1 egg

oregano

salt and pepper

2 tbs olive oil

Heat up the oil and mix together the dry ingredients in a bowl and beat the egg in a second bowl. Dip all the tomatoes in the egg then dredge in the flour mixture. After the oil is heated, place in the dipped veggies and then turn over after 2 minutes. After another 2 minutes, remove from the oil and dry on a paper towel. Serve with home made paleo tomato ketchup. 

And finally last night, I made some awesome meatloaf! I found the recipe here at http://paleodietlifestyle.com/paleo-meat-loaf/ and it was so juicy and tender. I loved it and when I got home, the whole pan was gone. I also harvested some spinach from the garden and heated it up in a skillet with some olive oil. Here it is!

So yummy! It's been a good week for eating. Not for weight loss though, we'll get back on track though! I have faith in me.

awesome dinner tonight

I had a crazy busy day today. A full day of work and then shopping for two parties this weekend, as well as a meeting with my trainer to talk about my  new work out plan. All of this happened before getting home to make a nice home cooked paleo meal. I've been thinking about this meal all week and was so excited that I'd be sharing it with Cap finally, after his stint of night shifts. So I found this recipe for ginger marinated beef with a mango salsa topping here at http://everydaypaleo.com/2011/06/09/ginger-beef-with-mango-salsa/

And here is how mine came out!! So amazingly tasty and healthy and green! The salsa had a great kick and the meat was so tender from being on the grill. I even found some lettuce cups at the grocery store to top off the whole thing. I will definitely make this again. My semi paleo husband had his on whole wheat tortillas instead of the lettuce and was very pleased with the whole meal. I'm really craving something sweet right now though. I have a half pint of Soy Delicious Coconut milk vanilla bean ice cream in the fridge which is dairy and soy free so completely paleo. I think I shall indulge now. 

Tomorrow I've got a birthday party for little kids, cinco de mayo, and another friends celebration of a new job and drinking to deal with. I was going to make tomorrow a cheat day but I'm just doing so well that I don't think I can. Of course I'll have a glass of wine or two, but I think I'll do my best to stay paleo in my eating. I'm gonna go to a zumba fest/booty camp tomorrow for two hours in the morning, so maybe that will combat any damage I do with birthday cake... hey! I've done amazing for a month, I think I deserve some cake. :)

no go on the clo

So after a lot of thought and a split second lapse in judgement, I stuck by my guns and didn't start another cycle of clomid. I've felt like myself all week and even though John's been gone, I feel like there is less pressure between us. I've also not counted any calories and the weight seems to be coming off nicely. I had wanted to be at 189 by May 1st but I just needed an extra day and today I was 188.5! At the gym it said I was 187, but that was obviously wrong. 

The paleo is going really well. I've been hungrier lately so I've had to do the "fasting" thing because I haven't always had a healthier option on hand. Like today, I made some awesome three pepper pork loin and had it going on the grill all nice and carmelizing and then I came back and it was on fire. I could only get half of it sawed off as edible and then I had to leave really quickly for rehearsal. So I need to get more nuts and seeds and stuff thats portable and can just hang out in my car. Any other hints for nice paleo snacks? 

This weekend I'm writing a new plan for the last three months with Emily and its going to be mostly running which I hope we really get me nice and toned. I'm looking forward to really starting to see a new me and maybe this extra time will help me be ready to have the most well balanced pregnancy diet there could be.

trying trying trying

So I'm having some fluctuating thoughts today. None of the crazy circumstances of my life have changed in the last few days, and it has been nice to not wake up with a thermometer in the mouth each morning, but now I feel like I'm wasting time. This is all a part of the anxiety I am trying to escape by taking a few months off, but I'm wondering whether or not I want to try a half dose this month, 25 mg of the clomid and see how that goes. My doctor had wanted me to try that last month, but I wanted to make sure I ovulated so I was scared to. I have liked to be able to control my temper and thoughts without the medication so much though. Cap is still on the night shift and most days I only see him awake for about an hour so why try to fit sex in there? Of course that's over this weekend and baby making would go in to full tilt next week, but I still have rehearsals every night and work all day. Am I just setting myself up for more anxiety and failure. A friend told me over the phone to just stick to my guns. But then I think of being an older mother and it really scares me. Ugh. Well we are going to have a sit down during dinner tonight to make up our minds about the half dose. I'd have to start it tonight because its cycle day 5. Any advice?

Weight loss has seemed to halt too. I haven't lost anything and I'm maybe wondering if I'm eating enough. I am doing only one training session a week for the next few crazy months, but I am doing workouts on my own and I know I'm burning calories, but now I'm wondering if I'm maybe not taking enough in. But I eat whenever I'm hungry. I'm eating apples as I type this right now. I need to maybe try to write stuff down for a few days, but since I'm cooking and making all natural foods, its harder to keep track without nutrition labels. I know the whole idea of the diet is to not have to keep track, but I want to be fueling my body the best way I know how. I wanted to be at 189 today, May 1. But I'm still stuck at 191. I'm not gaining so maybe its just a plateau. I don't know how I could eat healthier though... 

My new workout plan is going to be running based because I want to get under 35 minutes running the 5k in June. My legs are feeling more sculpted but I still never feel thin. In fact I hated most of the pictures that were taken of me at work and at the lake this weekend. I don't see myself as any thinner even though I know I'm in smaller sizes. Today I pick up my cocktail dress for the play and will hopefully be in a large and not an xlarge . I'm gonna buy the one that fits me now because the show opens in 17 days and I don't anticipate dropping another size at the beginning, but am hoping it will be a little too big by the end of the run mid June. 

So here's a little humor for today. Also, if anyone has any advice on the clomid front, I'm all ears.

Sticking to my guns!

Well I have not taken my temperature or anything since we made the decision a few days ago to just stop stressing. I did however get my period in full force Friday at work, on day 27 of my cycle. I don't think I have a PCOS cycle any longer. I have heard that clomid makes your period longer but I guess that is not my case with the daily exercising and eating paleo with nothing processed. So was my timing completely off all month? I saw from my OPK tests that I had the surge on the 13th so was my luteal phase only 13 days? I don't know... but that is no longer my concern.

I weighed in at 191 today so I had lost 1 lb last week but that makes total sense with the amount of stress I was dealing with. I'm getting a new plan from Emily over the weekend and its going to emphasize more running and toning because I'm going to do another 5k in early June where I plan on being 181 by that time. Thats more than a month away so I know I can lose another 10 lbs.

Today I'm making another chicken stock from the leftover roaster chicken carcass and we are going to have the faux olive garden soup again tonight. I'm also going to the lake with some girlfriends today to get some sun and will stop by the store and pick up some fresh fruit to eat. I went out with the same friends last night and had 3 glasses of wine with glasses of water mixed in between so I'm not really feeling any of the side effects like from last weekend. Now I promise not to drink again for a few weeks so I can meet my weight loss goals.

This week will be my test of getting my life back together after TTC with clomid. I'm not saying I will never use it again, but just everything put together made it too hard. I hope to be better behaved at work, more patient with the students, and able to pay more attention at rehearsals for the musical this week. Cap started his night shifts last night so he's sleeping now and probably won't be awake til I get home from the lake, but we've promised to be better to each other and make more dates this month. I really missed him and yesterday we spent the day together out shopping and it was really sweet how he held my hand and kept kissing me. This is what we need.

So anyway, here is the chart from last month. You can see where fertilityfriend.com said I ovulated but where my test was positive for the LH surge and decide for yourself what's going on.

And this is me at work dressed as Katniss from The Hunger Games for our Heroes Vs Villains event for the kids.

We've come to a decision

So I've been manic at work, I'm in a play that has less than three weeks to get legs, and I'm doing all of this checking my temperature daily, battling the side effects of clomid, and ruining my marriage. I'm forcing my husband to have sex with me and other than that, we do not talk. I came home last night in tears. Not for any particular reason, just out of sure exhaustion. It all came to a head when the sink was full of gross dishes, that have been piled up for two days, and Cap was sitting on the couch watching TV and playing online. I lost it. I just screamed, I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE! Then I went to bed and tried to listen to a meditation but all the thoughts just came crashing around. I laid there for an hour until Cap came in to shower and then sleep. 

He came and laid down with me and asked if I was asleep and I said no and that I'd been thinking we should just stop with this trying for a baby for good. I hate this feeling at the end of every month where I'm thinking I'm no good and useless and not a woman. I want to get on birth control pills and just know that I'm not pregnant each month. He kept fighting me, saying I'd still be sad because he knows I'm sad because we don't have a baby yet and that being a pill wouldn't help me at all. He told me to think about being 60 and looking back and hating myself for being on the pill when we still had a chance. All the kind things he was saying just made me cry harder. And then I told him how distant I felt from him, the little time we do get to spend together right now, we practically ignore each other and I hate that. Then he said he knew he'd been distracted lately and it was all about whether or not to sell our house or rent it and all the repairs we have to make and we have less than three months to do it all. I didn't know this is why he'd been distant so I felt better that he'd opened up. We talked about where we wanted to be in a year and what to do with the house and then we got back on the baby subject. 

I told him that we needed to spend this next month just being there for each other and doing things to make the others life easier because we are both so stressed out. He's gonna do more around the house when he's home and we're gonna try to date a little this month and try to get the romance back. I told him I'd calm down and make a list of all the home things to do and we'd plan out which project we're gonna do each week until we're gone to make it easier on both of us. We also decided that there won't be any clomid next month. We've got too much to deal with and me being crazy isn't going to help anyone. I'll finally be calm and myself again at work, I'll be able to concentrate at rehearsal and maybe sleep at night. I've never had bags under my eyes but I do right now. When we get to the next duty station, we are going to look at IUI or IVF and until then we're gonna save what we can. I'm not gonna go on the pill or anything, but I'm also gonna stop charting and forcing sex. I'll put up my chart at the end of this cycle and keep track the rest of this weekend just so I've got a complete look at this month on clomid, but after that I'm done for a while. 

So what I'll continue to do with this blog is to keep going with eating paleo and exercising. I think I only lost a half pound this week and its all because of obvious reasons. It doesn't matter what you put in your body if you're not sleeping and not concentrating at your workouts. I meet with Emily today and will tell her that she's got me until we go and to get a new plan together to kick my ass. I want to be 170 when we leave here, no longer Cap's fat wife, just a pleasantly plump Army wife at a new duty station. I've got 21 lbs and 3 months to do it, and I think 7 lbs in a month is do able. I'm sticking to making all this easier to pick up with when I come back to it in August, but for now, I just can't think about babies. 

On a side note, our baby birds have all flown away. I saw two of them leave the next yesterday morning and when I got home to make dinner, the other two were gone. Another circle of life is complete. I want to scrape off all the bird poo from the nest and then maybe shellack it and preserve it. I'll add pictures to this post when I get home from work this afternoon, just can't get to it now. I'll also add the weigh in and measurement info.

We'll see how it goes

If you also keep track of your BBT then you'll know that any drop in temperature is not a good sign. I'd been up to 97.9 for a few days in a row and the last two was up to 98.1. This morning, I was back down to 97.5. Uh oh. It doesn't really make or break the pregnancy chances, but its still not what I was hoping for. I'm also not feeling any symptoms and have started to break out on my chin. I'm going to do a HPT tomorrow and see what it says, but I completely expect my period on Monday. I don't know, was this month a waste? 

I know I'll have lost about 8.5 lbs this month, probably be around 10 by the 1st of May. I've kept up the paleo diet all month and have tried to workout at least 40 minutes every day. I'm doing the best for my body, but every time you see AF you have lost more time. I was talking to my cousin last night and saying how if I don't get pregnant this month or next, there is a chance Cap and I will be moving again and I'll be having to find a doctor in my last month if I get pregnant in June. I also lose the chance of a dragon baby (Chinese calendar). That's just a silly little thing, but my mother in law is one and she's just amazing and I'd love to have double dragons in the family. So anyway, I'm feeling a little depressed. I've had some busy days at work and I don't think the stress is helping anything. 

I've got a busy weekend starting with Cap starting a night shift for a week. So while I'm at work he'll come home and sleep and then we'll have dinner together and then he'll be gone for the night. If I'm not pregnant, I may be partying a little next week. I haven't gone out and danced in a while and now I won't feel guilty if Cap doesn't want to go out during the week. Maybe if I keep that in the forefront of my mind, I'll chill out a little bit. Anyway, I'll probably be starting round three of clomid will start next weekend. BLEGH.

how can I not??

Infertility Awareness Week

I had no idea that it was this week! Be aware!